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Gem
31 May 2007 @ 10:29 pm
the bitch must die  
nevermind the title, i suck at thinking right now.

i've been pushing people away lately. like not wanting to talk to people, not wanting anyone to sit beside me,not wanting people to tell me to do this and that.if they do so, i end up getting really really bitchy and explode even with just the slightest poke in my back.[and imagine what happens if they poke me endlessly]

specially when my sister came back home. even before she came back home, when she talks to me on the phone, i just go 'whatever,yeah,okay' and give the phone to my mom.and even today, my brother's birthday, i didn't even greet him. i just told him 'it's your birthday today?', nothing more nothing less.

i've been cold this week, really cold. only wanting to be with myself, with no one but me.i do try to get back to the warm cheerful me, but nothing works.

maybe i need more time spent with friends and family outside, rather than locking myself in this cold quiet four cornered room.
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Gem
26 April 2007 @ 03:28 pm
is it me or is the heat getting worse every day?  
times like this that i feel like dying.XDDD it''ssss sooooo hoooootttttt omg, you can have your sunny side up cooked in the streets!but that would just leave you sick ne?

OKAY! i got so many stuff to accomplish by this week and the first 3 weeks of the month or i'll be dead by june. what a birthday, this is my first birthday where i have to work for stuff a lot...tsk tsk, getting older really gives you more responsibilities huh?

my school sucks for not having exchange programs. they want the students all for themselves. selfish nuns damnit, if only they had such programs then it would be a lot easier for me to go to japan and marry maru.if things won't work out with the embassy this june, the best thing for me to do is to continue and finish what i've started here.coz if i try again for next year's and get it then that would mean that i'll stop schooling with only one year to graduate[coz i'll be an incoming senior by the time that the embassy will send us to japan]. do you get it?

so i have a back up plan if things don't work out.because i love studying i'll be taking a master's degree in communication abroad[i'll try to not be biased in taking it in japan]. also, by that time, my sister will probably be in new jersey by then, she can help me out with the financing.i don't want my parents to support me 100%, they can just sit back relax and support my brother to enter the best university in the country in full scholarship.[he's in high school now in full scholarship]...now that i've mention how genius my borther is, why don't he try to study abroad?! shdgashdsjhsdk, he's the smartest among us! studying abroad for him will be as easy as 1 2 3!!!!!!!jshfdjshds, i'll try to mention that to my parents when the time comes.

so everybody, do your besttttt!!!!!
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Current Mood: genki
 
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Gem
24 April 2007 @ 01:57 pm
mmmm  

When in doubt, don't.
          
              -Benjamin Franklin



i don't really know what to do.TT^TT

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Gem
24 April 2007 @ 12:33 am
i still have time  
a month ago, i was all excited and determined about something that i wanted to achieve.

but the month of april passed without me taking a step further to what i wanted to begin.why?

simply because i was a coward.

i backed out even without beginning. i was afraid that i might fail, and that i can't do my best.

who thought that just by watching Attention Please i realized that giving up will only make me a loser. failing doesn't mean that you do not have the chance to try again right? a person who's afraid of failing is a failure herself.

failures make a person stronger.

half of my time is now wasted, i still have the other half to use wisely.time is running.

what's life without taking chances right?

i shall gambarimasu.
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Gem
22 April 2007 @ 12:45 pm
WTF...ROFL..LMAO!!!!XDDD  
THIS POST IS MOSTLY TAGALOG CENTERED, so non-filipino readers might not be able to get some of the stuff i say

since it's summer, my mom decided to sell ice...so just a while ago someone bought ice

me: *came out of the house to give the ice*
guy: took the ice and gave me a hundred peso bill *note: TOO BIG!*
me: *note: this will be meaningless if i translate it to english so i'll use tagalog* wala kang barya?
guy: unfortunately, wala. *in a show off, arrogant kind of way*
me: *moment of silence*.......eehhh?*weird face* 
guy: ah wait! *went to his mother who had change with her*
me:*got the money and went inside laughing*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! omg, that really really really really..i dunno what's the term to be used..but that was just weird. he could have just said directly 'wala'[nothing] but he still had to say it with unfortunately. XDDD

BIBILI KA LANG NG YELO MAGPAPAKASOSYAL KA PA!XDDDDDDDDD 

note: the guy was a friend of ours[me and my sister] when we were younger along with his other siblings. i heard that he and his sibling are out of school youth and that he once worked in a call center. so okay, wtf, since he worked in a call center he talks like that even when he just buys ice in the neighborhood. im amused.

my sister had a suitor who also worked in a call center. he called our house one night and spoke in a very socialite manner, the tone that can make you pissed off coz he sounded so arrogant just because he spoke in english.LOL, we got in an argument and i hanged up on him. my sister just laughed about it when i told it to her coz she doesnt like the guy, said that he's arrogant.LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. i'll kill that guy when i see him again.arrogant bastard, PANGET KA NAMAN!KALA MO KUNG SINONG GWAPO..XDDDDD


i dunno why im so pissed off with these kind of people, maybe because i think that you don't have to pretend to be a socialite just to impress someone[unless you were brought up that way by your parents]. like c'mon, you can show that you have class even if you speak pure tagalog without sounding arrogant. also, you can speak english without sounding arrogant.either of the two is fine.

like at school, im a mass communication student but that doesn't mean that we have to speak english the whole entire time, you don't have to show off. and what's with the snobbish english speaking attitude? sheesh. just because you speak english you can act like a snob? wth, english is just english, a universal language.it doesn't give you any right to look down to others just because you paired up english with your snobbish attitude. 

now, go to divisoria. who do you think can haggle the most: a snobbish pretend socialite english speaker or a respectable humble ordinary tagalog speaker?

one must remember, for someone to respect you, you must also respect them and make them feel comfortable with you, not intimidated.
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Gem
21 April 2007 @ 12:44 am
IM HIGH, CAFFEINE HIGH.  
but i didn't even drink coffee.XDDDDD

this is like..what? my 5th?6th? post of the day, of course joining my other blog.wth, i never posted that much in a day before, never ever. and my feet are shaking, i can't help it.

i'm not even sleepy, i think my body clock's tuned up to sleep at 2 am and wake up at 11 am. it always goes that way. ack! i should sleep earlier to wake up earlier so i can watch those morning caroon shows! i miss JUDIE ABBOOTTT!!!!TT__TT, that's one of my favorite summer cartoons ever!

*mom just got down from her room and told me to go to sleep, scolded me also coz i forgot to lock the door*..XDDDD

yo hey! at least i'm not emo in this post! but i was emo an hour ago, before i saw the popolo scans full of ohyaassss! that totally made my day.

my mom liked Gokusen 2 which was aired on local tv, but ended today. she asked what was the show that;s going to replace it, then immediately the cf for the new drama, Hana Yori Dango, was aired and she was like

mom: is that show good?
me: THE BEST!*with a weird alien-like smiling face*
mom: then i have a new show to watch then
me: *dances around* that's the show where the song with ~*the ARRIGGAAATOOUUU*~[flavor of life] is used for *coz my mom likes that song very much*
mom: really?? i'll probably like that drama then!
me: *still dancing around while singing love so sweet*

MUAHAHAHAHA!!! i wonder what her reactions will be when we watch it, coz she haven't seen Meteor Garden before.
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Current Mood: silly
Current Music: wish-arashi
 
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Gem
17 April 2007 @ 08:40 pm
slash slash kaboooommmmmerang!!!!  

oh, nevermind the post title.i just dont have any idea what to put there.XD

so i've been emo lately in this blog huh??

why don't we break the ice and have fun once in a while?

.........
............
.................


STARTOOOOO!!!!

someone came over at my house today and just showered me with....praises?..NO........

instead...INSULTSSSSSSSSSS!!! jdhsfjdhfjksdhfjhdk

goddamnit, i know that person is a good person but why does that person have to repeat everything over and over again and insult me for something so obvious that is already pissing me off as a problem for myself and not his. um what? that person is concerned? no, that person is just plain mean.MEANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

and that person is korean. i know a lot of koreans are mean[ haha, say that to a person who have been insulted by a korean twice] *kills the 2 koreans that pissed me off* but i do hope that not all of them are THAT mean. or else i'll impersonate Saya Otonashi and slash their bodies in two without any mercy and smile in delight by the pool of blood in the floor.

oh yess, that's why i would love to have a real samurai sword for my 18th birthday so i can barge on to that mean korean's house and mutilate his throat right infront of his family.

i am brutal.yes or yes?


...........
...
..


now that's what i call blogging*hugs self for making a blog for these kind of stuff*

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Gem
10 April 2007 @ 12:23 pm
WAI HELLO THERE EARTHLING,TIRED OF UR LIFE?LET ME STAB YOU.  
sadfjsadhsjkhdkjsahdsa.

i hate it when you walk around pretending that you know EVERYTHING.oh cmon, get real.
i hate it when you come too strong and without even saying it directly that you are the best person ever in the world and no one can overcome your greatness.
seriously, YOU ARE SOOOOOOOOO FULL OF YOURSELF.IM SICK OF IT THAT I WANT TO THROW UP IN YOUR FACE.

dear friends, do not worry i'm not directing this to any of you.but if it does apply to you, then say that to ursef in the mirror.

i just need to say what i was afraid to say to every human being in the world because there are times that we become like that person and aren't brave enough to say it in his/her face.
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Current Mood: pissed off
 
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Gem
05 April 2007 @ 03:12 pm
what's more painful?  

physical pain or emotional pain?

i've been through a lot of physical pain lately.

had a number of syringes pricked to my skin.
my body hurting like im carrying thw whole world in my back.
my head feeling like something's drilling into it.
my hydrogastric region terribly aching.

our physical pain may torment us for an hour, a day, or a month.no matter how painful it is, it will go away soon and it will eventually be forgotten.

emotional pains can hurt us forever.we may forget them for years, but when something reminds us of it, the pain will come back hunting us again.

our very little hearts are vulnerable to get hurt.

our body has medicines to heal our physical wounds, but for the heart, we only have ourselves and the words and care of the people that love us.

P.S. my monthly visitor is really tormenting me right now.

 

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Current Mood: irritated
 
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Gem
30 March 2007 @ 09:29 pm
two sides  
everything is a game.

i play, have fun, and make losers out of people without them knowing it.

that's my world, a world where i wear a mask, every goddamn day.

i have two sides:
1) the sweet,kind,helpful,smiling face,carefree,happy-go-lucky,optimistic,adventurous,colorful me

and

2)the silent,loner,backstabber,pretender,selfish, hot-tempered, impatient, snob, asshole, dark me

when i'm in the public or  at school  with friends, teachers, people who i need to impress, i am me # 1.

that's my mask, hiding me # 2.

but sometimes me # 2 is nowhere to be found and i dont wear a mask, i just become me # 1, this only happens when i am with people whom i greatly trust and comfortable with. to date, they are no greater than 5.

all my life, i've been living in this world with a mask, hiding my other self.

why?

because in life, everything is a game.

it's either you win or you lose.


.....

but it all ends up in one question.
who am i? me # 1 or me # 2?

will i keep on wearing a mask? show my other side? or balance them out?
who is the real me?

P.S. i can so relate to shuji
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Gem
29 March 2007 @ 11:17 pm
mother, what is an orgasm?  

my younger brother asked my mom what ORGASM was. my mom was speechless for a couple of seconds and just said "that's for married people only"

.....

LOL MOTHER.YOU MAKE ME FEEL ASHAMED OF BEING AWARE OF 'ORGASM' EVEN IF I'M NOT MARRIED

our mom [and father who's ALWAYS out of the country] NEVER gave us a proper sex education. [but hey, i didn't need one since i learned everything before i even got into the 4th grade] but i do pity my younger brother for still not knowing what orgasm is and to think that he's supposed to be a 'genius', lol, maybe einstein also wondered what orgasm was when he was in 1st yr high school.

i remember when i was in the 3rd grade when we were in the car with my mom. remembering a word that i heard in a movie about witches[i forgot the title, but i remember that sarah jessica parker was one of the three witches], i suddenly asked her 'mom, what's a VIRGIN?'.......... again, a moment of silence. "sweety, that's when someone doesn't have a kid yet"

and so started my quest to discover the world of sex since my mom wasn't willing to satisfy my curiosity about the oh so wonderful world of sex.

of course i didn't sleep around! [ i intend to do that experiment when the right time comes, which is not soon btw] i watched porn videos with my childhood friend[that we just found inside her older brother's cabinet], read magazines that my teenage older sister kept on buying from bookstores, and asked friends[who didn't give answers that all ended up about having to marry someone].

now, wonder what i told my brother when my mom answered him?

i told him to go here

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Gem
24 March 2007 @ 10:47 pm
this may be the beginning of something  
for the first time in my life, i feel that i am going to take a very big step in the next months.
i will be an adult, i will be legal, i will be...somebody, the best that i can be.

ever wondered how things fell in the right place?

rejection from a prestigious university 
took and passed the examination in a college that was just a back-up
accidentally left the enrollment papers for another university
entered a college full of people i dislike thus leading to plans of transferring
meeting a professor that made you think that it's all about you and not others
becoming one of the best in your class 
cancelling the transferring at the last minute
knowing somebody that lead you to knowing somebody else
somebody inspired you to do something
two months time before the deadline
two months of summer vacation
..................
the rest still unknown.


i do believe that things happen for a reason.this may be something, or maybe nothing.
but if things do happen as what it is supposed to happen, i shall accept whole heartedly.

we only get one chance in life.one chance to prove ourselves.

we only get one life.24 hours each day.time is in our hands.its up to us how we use it.

its either we choose to fight to the top, or choose to let go and fall.
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Gem
21 March 2007 @ 10:57 pm
ouch.backpain.tummy aches.heartaches.  
that's why i sometimes hate watching dramas wherein most of them establish the 'NEVER GIVE UP' stuff, because i tend to think that i can apply everything that i watch to real life.

but seriously...WHEN IS IT TIME TO GIVE UP? or does it have to be the statement 'NEVER GIVE UP' ?

TT__TT kfhjsahfjksahfdsa.IHU.and lol at the music that's repeating in my player right now constantly saying 'I DONT WANNA LET YOU GO'......XDDDDDD *gets shot*

my hana yori dango love story is now in HYD2!XDDD now i feel how makino feels, and wow does it hurt.

but will my own story end up happily ever after?...or lonely ever after?.XD

OMG YOU DOMYOUJI*, BAAAKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*names changed for privacy
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Gem
18 March 2007 @ 12:08 am
this is how we paint our lives  






( the painting canvas of life )
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Current Music: canon-pachelbel
 
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